So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
