So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
