I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
