6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
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