I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
