WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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