My liver just broke up with me...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize