it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish i was in the wii world.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
