Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
