It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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