I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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