how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
