is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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