do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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