She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
