how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
