forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have aggressive nipples.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
