I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
