Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
