just tell him i said nine months
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
