I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you never un-have a 4some
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
