She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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