A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
