I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
