i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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