this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This house was built for laser tag.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
