Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
