Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
