I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize