you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
