I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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