i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
