I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
