So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
