so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
