So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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