Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
