Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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