my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
