It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
