Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
