Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
