Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
