My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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