idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
