She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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