dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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