my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Randomize
