Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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