I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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