I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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