3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
