I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
