I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
