so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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