I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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