We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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