So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
