Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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