If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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