So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
