I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
