peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
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Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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