I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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